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AMAZON FILLER _ Certain items at Amazon.com qualify for free shipping, but sometimes the purchase falls short of the minimum $25 needed to receive the free shipping. Amazon Filler allows you to enter the amount you need to see a list of products that qualify for free shipping. |
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POP CULTURE...ON ICE! NFL FINES TWEETING PLAYER _ The National Football League has fined wide receiver Chad Ochocinco $25,000 for the timing of his tweets. The league said Tuesday that Ochocinco's messages appeared on his Twitter page during a prohibited time at the Cincinnati Bengals versus Philadelphia Eagles preseason game on Friday night. It said the Bengal player violated policies on electronic device possession and posting of social media messages. The use of cell phones, computers or other electronic equipment by players and coaches is prohibited from 90 minutes before kickoff through the end of the game. The NFL's statement said Ochocinco's messages on the social media site showed up at 6:50pm and 9:53pm. Kickoff was 8:07. Ochocinco apologized ... through Twitter. CRAMPED CAPSULE COULD BRING SPACE TRAVEL TO AVERAGE GUY _ A Danish start-up company is planning to launch a person into space in a cramped capsule, beginning with a dummy launch on August 31. Copenhagen Suborbitals has created the HEAT1X rocket and the micro spacecraft it will launch, called Tycho Brahe-1. TB-1 will carry one human passenger, in a half-seated position, into space and back down again. The seat is designed to minimize the gravitational pull on the passenger’s spine. Whoever is on board will also have to wear a pressure suit, like those worn by fighter pilots, to make sure they don’t pass out. At the top of the module is a see-through polymer plexiglass dome, giving the astronaut a once-in-a-lifetime view of their journey. It's planned that the spacecraft will travel in an arc, jettisoning the rocket about halfway up and eventually peaking more than 60 miles above the Earth before coming down. After it re-enters the atmosphere, parachutes will be deployed to slow it before it hits the water. ... For the August 31 test flight a crash test dummy will go in place of a human payload, as this will let them test the safety systems and g-forces a human might expect. NEW GLASS SAVES BIRDS' LIVES _ It's estimated that hundreds of millions of birds die every year around the world due to collisions with glass. Now a new type of glass made by the German company Arnold Glas may provide a solution. Ornilux has an ultraviolet coating that birds can see, but humans can’t under normal conditions. The glass uses the same techniques that spiders use to keep birds from flying through and destroying their webs. WOMEN LIKE GEEKS _ A study into the dating habits of 3,000 women has found they prefer geeky, practical guys over athletic well-groomed men. Of the women polled, almost three quarters said they were more attracted to men who know how to fix things over guys who spend all their time keeping fit. Almost nine-out-of-ten said they found men who spend their spare time down the gym a total turn-off and just a third said muscly dudes were their thing. SWEDES CHEER TIGER'S EX-WIFE _ Cheers swept over Elin Nordegren's native land when her divorce from Tiger Woods was finalized. As news broke late Monday night in Sweden that philandering golfer Tiger Woods and his wife, Elin Nordegren, had finally divorced, the country’s leading websites were clogged with commentary cheering on the Swedish-born Elin. Swedish newspapers also noted that Elin will not keep Woods as her last name. She will take back her maiden name, a common practice in Sweden for women who get divorced and no longer want to be associated with their ex-husband. WHAT TO TIP Take-Out Food - 10% when you pay. Make sure you tip based on the entire check if you use restaurant coupons. Mom & Pop Coffee Shops - $1 if you're just purchasing a drink. 10% if you're running a tab or making a meal-sized purchase. Chain Coffee Shops -- 25 cents tossed in the tip jar, if they were nice and you feel like it. More if they made you a complex drink and served it pleasantly. Nothing if you got your own cup and filled it while all they did was take your cash. Taxi - 10% to 15% is standard and 20% if the driver helps you with heavy bags. Stylist, Colorist or Barber -- 15% to 20% Pizza - $2 to $5 depending on the distance the delivery person had to drive. If you use pizza coupons, make sure you tip based on the total price of the check. Check first to make sure a small tip was not already included in the total price, but make sure this isn't a "service fee" not shared with drivers. Furniture -- $5 per large item delivered. You may want to tip more if the delivery requires a lot of set up. Hotel Housekeeping Staff - $1 to $5, depending on the hotel's quality and extra services provided. Tip daily as staff varies and put the cash in a sealed enveloped indicating it's for housekeeping. Blackjack Dealers -- $5 chip per gambling session (higher at high limit tables). Also, you can set up a side bet for the dealer as a tip, usually at the minimum betting level. Fishing Guides -- 15% is the average for independent fishing guides, but not less than 10%. Museum Guides -- $1 per tour participant. Tattoo Artists - 10% to 20%, depending on the difficulty and amount of work performed. Movers - $10 to $20 per mover, depending on the amount of work necessary. Tow Truck Operators - $3 to $5 per car towed, even if it's covered by AAA. Mail Carriers - Government employees are prohibited from receiving money as a gift or gratuity, but the Postal Service tends to turn a blind eye during the holidays. A $5 to $10 tip is sufficient, unless your mail is delivered by a different carrier each day. Even better, write a letter of appreciation to the carrier's supervisor. Sherpas - Tip one Yak for making it up the mountain and an additional Yak every time the sherpa has to save you from falling off the mountain. -ARE YOUR EGGS RECALLED _ A massive egg recall by Write County Egg has sickened hundreds of people, and affected 13 retail brands that the egg factory packages. The culprit: Salmonella on egg shells. The egg brands affected by the recall include: Lucerne, Albertson, Mountain Dairy, Ralph’s, Boomsma’s, Sunshine, Hillandale, Trafficanda, Farm Fresh, Shoreland, Lund, Dutch Farms, and Kemps. Eggs are packed in 6- 12- or 18-egg cartons with Julian dates ranging from 136 to 225 and plant numbers 1026, 1413, and 1946. Dates and codes can be found stamped on the end of the egg carton. The plant number begins with the letter P and then the number. The Julian date follows the plant number, for example: P-1946 223. WACKY-BUT-TRUE RESTAURANT NAMES TRUE STORIES, TOLD IN ONE SENTENCE • Within 30 seconds of each other, my dentist told me that I brushed extremely well but that I also had a mouth full of cavities. • I wanted a popsicle until I saw the dead cat blocking everything in the freezer. • As I sat curled up in his arms, I couldn't help but laugh when this cute scrawny boy said, "Don't worry, I won't seduce you." • At my father's funeral, his best friend of 35 years came up to me and asked me how I knew the deceased. • Shortly after telling us we needed to lose weight, my grandma was offended that we didn't want all three desserts she had prepared. • I was annoyed at the old man in front of me as he drove 10 mph under the speed limit, but then I saw the cop hiding around the corner. • I knew that I had made a critical error in judgment, lying on the floor in the dressing room, seriously considering calling for help out of the skinny jeans I squeezed myself into. • Waking in the street after the motorcycle accident, I knew it was bad when I saw one of the paramedics throwing up. YOU’RE WASTING MONEY _ So much money and energy is wasted on things we could get for free. If you're into new, shiny things and collecting stuff, this is not for you. But if you want less clutter in your life and want to keep more of your money, then check out these 15 things you shouldn't be paying for. >>> Read the full article here... SCIENCE TRUE OR SCIENCE FALSE! CHICKENS CAN LIVE WITHOUT A HEAD -- True! And not just for a few minutes. A chicken can stagger around without its noggin because the brain stem, often left partially intact after a beheading, controls most of its reflexes. One robust fellow lived a full eighteen months. A DOG'S MOUTH IS CLEANER THAN A HUMAN'S -- False! Truth is, oral bacteria are so species-specific that one can't be considered cleaner than the other, just different. WATER DRAINS BACKWARDS IN THE SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE DUE -- False! Not only is the Earth's rotation too weak to affect the direction of water flowing in a drain, tests you can easily perform in a few washrooms will show that water whirlpools both ways depending on the sink's structure, not the hemisphere. HAIR AND FINGERNAILS CONTINUE TO GROW AFTER DEATH -- False! Though hair and fingernails appear to keep growing after death, this is merely a morbid optical illusion at work. In death the human body dehydrates severely, retracting enough skin to expose more nail and hair. MEN THINK ABOUT SEX EVERY SEVEN SECONDS -- False! Males are driven to reproduce, evolutionarily speaking, but there is no scientific way of measuring to what extent that desire consumes their everyday lives. Thankfully, for world productivity as a whole, seven seconds seems a gross overstatement, as best researchers can tell. A FALLING CAT WILL ALWAYS LAND ON ITS FEET -- True! Studies have demonstrated that, when dropped from most heights, cats will land gracefully on their feet. Results change only with cats dropped upside-down from a height of one foot or less. DUFFY’S LAWS • Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee. • Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. • Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. • Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers. • Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. • Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now. • Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. • Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. • Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. • Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. • Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. • Law of Lockers - If there a re only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. • Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly. • Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. THE ROONEY AND MOON SHOW FALL MOVIE PREVIEW! -August 27: Avatar: Special Edition - This re-release is coming only in 3D and IMAX and includes an additional 9 minutes of footage, all of which is animated, including an extension of the sex scene and various other scenes that were cut from the original theatrical film. Cameron stated that the 9 minutes of added scenes cost more than $1 million a minute to produce and finish. -September 3: The American - George Clooney is a master assassin. When a job in Sweden ends more harshly than expected, he vows to his contact that his next assignment will be his last. -September 17: Devil - M. Night Shyamalan's track record ain't so hot right now, which is probably why it's a relief that he wrote but didn't direct Devil. The plot sounds interesting: Set in an office building, five strangers become trapped in an elevator after a mysterious blackout knocks out the power in the entire building. After a series of inexplicable events occur, including the local fire department unable to open the elevator, they begin to suspect one of them is in fact the Devil. -September 24: Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps - Michael Douglas is back, this time with Josh Brolin, Susan Sarandon, Shia LaBeouf and his girlfriend Carey Mulligan. -October 1: The Social Network - Adapted from the 2009 book The Accidental Billionaires, it focuses on the tumultuous early years of Facebook, which was founded in 2004. -October 8: Secretariat - Tells the story of Penny Chenery (Diane Lane) and her United States' Hall of Fame racehorse, Secretariat who, in 1973, became the first horse in twenty-five years to win the Triple Crown of Thoroughbred Racing. Costars John Malkovich, Scott Glenn and James Cromwell. -October 15: Jackass 3-D - Getting you closer to the madness. -October 15: Red - Red is the story of Frank Moses (Bruce Willis), a former black-ops CIA agent, who is now living a quiet life. That is, until the day a high-tech assassin shows up intent on killing him. With his identity compromised and the life of the woman he cares for endangered, Frank reassembles his old team (Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich and Helen Mirren) in a last ditch effort to survive. -October 29: Saw 3D - Getting you closer to the death. -November 5: Due Date - The plot focuses on two men: a highly strung expectant father (Robert Downey Jr.) and an aspiring actor (Zach Galifianakis) on a cross country road trip so the father can arrive in time to see his child's birth. -November 5: Megamind - An animated flick starring the voices of Will Ferrell, Tina Fey, Jonah Hill and Brad Pitt. -November 19: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Part One in 3D) -November 24: Burlesque - The story of a wannabe dancer (Christina Aguilera) who's trying to make it big. Costars Kristen Bell, Stanley Tucci and Cher -November 24: Red Dawn - Twenty-six years after the original, Star Trek's Chris Hemsworth stars in this remake, which featured Patrick Swayze and future jailbird Charlie Sheen. -December 10: The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader -December 17: Tron: Legacy - A sequel to the 1982 film Tron. Jeff Bridges reprises his role as Kevin Flynn, and Bruce Boxleitner his roles as Alan Bradley and Tron. -December 17: Yogi Bear (animated) -December 22: Gulliver's Travels - Jack Black is the big guy. Costars Emily Blunt. -December 22: Little Fockers - The next Meet the Parents flick. -December 25: True Grit - The Coen brothers tackle the 1968 novel, which was previously adapted for film in 1969. Jeff Bridges will play U.S. Marshall Reuben J. "Rooster" Cogburn. The character was portrayed by John Wayne in the 1969 film, a performance which earned him the Academy Award for Best Actor. Also in this one: Josh Brolin and Matt Damon. BELOIT COLLEGE MINDSET LIST FOR THE NEW CLASS OF 2014
WHAT WOMEN THINK OF YOUR UNDERWEAR Men's Health Do wear boxers or briefs, or that handsome hybrid, the boxer brief. Boxers are slightly more flattering on your average guy who doesn't have a 6-pack, but if briefs are more comfortable, that's fine. Keep in mind that while boxers can age a bit, briefs get old and dingy fast. Replace often. Don't wear bikini underwear. If you find yourself having any fun at all while you're buying your underwear, you are buying the wrong underwear. Don't let me see the white outline of your undershirt beneath your dress shirt. You look like that eighth-grade math teacher who read the sports section at his desk all day. This is like the male panty lines! Do wear tank tops if you are in amazing shape, or if you are from New Jersey. Otherwise, go for plainly styled, subtly patterned, clean. THE LASANDWICH: LASAGNA SANDWICH "World, I bequeath to you today one little girl in a crispy dress.. with two blue eyes...and a happy laugh that ripples all day long, and a batch of light blonde hair that bounces in the sunlight when she runs. I Trust You'll Treat Her Well." Read the rest here.... SOLDIER HOMECOMING VIDEO POP-TARTS WORLD OPENS TODAY! • The 3,000 square feet of one-of-a-kind "interactive Pop-Tarts-inspired features" include, but are not at all limited to: • A multi-sensory café serving a variety of Pop-Tarts toaster pastries, as well as exclusive Pop-Tarts-inspired snacks, assorted bakery items and custom ice cream creations. • A ‘varietizer’ machine, which allows shoppers to build their own customized box of Pop-Tarts toaster pastries, to take home. • A custom T-shirt creation station • A touch screen video stations that provide interactive entertainment and access to social media portals • A wide variety of Pop-Tarts merchandise, including mugs, magnets, posters, key chains, apparel, pillowcases, recycled tote bags, coin purses, and Chapsticks • An hourly light show that simulates the look of frosting • Pop-Tarts Sushi, which consists of three kinds of Pop-Tarts minced and then wrapped in a fruit roll-up. THE GREAT POP TART EXPERIMNET THE LATEST BIG-TIME FAIR FOOD: DONUT BURGERS WHAT WOMEN DO ONLINE _ There are still more men online than women -- although women are gaining ground. But a new study says that once the average woman is online she'll spend more time using the Internet than the average guy -- about two more hours online a month on average. ... While online, women spend more time social networking, instant messaging and using email. ... Women also outpace men in photo sharing and shopping. ... In what may come as a surprise online women spend more time than online men in gaming. Women favor casual puzzle, card and board games. ... Women are not immune to the less savory parts of the web, either. They are nearly as likely as men to visit gambling sites. And while nearly half of men frequent sex-themed sites, over one-third of women do as well. IRRITATING PHRASES TO AVOID IN YOUR EMAIL -"Cheers" -- Especially when used outside British pubs or the U.K. in general. -"Thanks in advance" -- As opposed to thanks from the past? -"Touch base." -"Circle back." -"To be honest." -The worst: "Please consider the environment before printing this email." -- I'll print it if I need to, whether you nag me or not! DUFFY’S WORDS • GRAND-PREGNANT -- Expecting a grandchild. • PLODESTRIAN -- Someone who starts to cross the street as soon as the signal allows but still doesn't make it across before it changes in the other direction. • SNACKTREK -- The peculiar habit, when searching for a snack, of constantly returning to the refrigerator in hopes that something new will have materialized. • AVALUNCHE -- An overwhelmingly large meal at mid-day. Example: "I think we're going to skip dinner. We had an avalunche this afternoon." • POST-PARTY DEPRESSION -- The January blues that ensue after the holiday season has ended and it's back to the old routine. • MUSICPAUSE -- The moment -- usually some time in your late 20s or early 30s -- when you start thinking that all music "these days" is crap. WASTEFUL SPENDING IN RECOVERY ACT OF 2009 • $554,763 for the Forest Service to replace windows in a closed visitor center at Mount St. Helens • $762,372 to create "Dance Draw" interactive dance software • $62 million for a tunnel to nowhere in Pittsburgh. Even Governor Ed Rendell called it "a tragic mistake" • $1.9 million for international ant research • $1.8 million for a road project that is threatening a pastor’s home • $308 million for a joint clean energy venture with...BP • $89,298 to replace a new sidewalk that leads to a ditch in Boynton, OK • $3.8 million for a "streetscaping" project that has reduced traffic and caused a business to fire two employees • $16 million to help Boeing to clean up an environmental mess it created in 2007 • $200,000 to help Siberian communities lobby Russian policy makers • $39.7 million to upgrade the statehouse and political offices in Topeka, Kansas • $760,000 to Georgia Tech to study improvised music • $700,000 to study why monkeys respond negatively to inequity • $193,956 to study voter perceptions of the economic stimulus • $363,760 to help NIH promote the positive impacts of stimulus projects • $456,663 to study the circulation of Neptune’s atmosphere • $529,648 to study the effects of local populations on the environment...in the Himalayas ROONEY AND MOON'S ONE NIGHT STAND: ADULT ROLLER PARTY
FUNNY PILOT PRANK: AS LONG AS YOU AREN'T THE PASSENGER! GREAT WAY TO PRANK YOUR ENTIRE OFFICE _ You've got to love technology in the workplace. It allows us to play Quake from within our cubicles, drive our co-workers mad, and now allows one prankster to disturb every single person in the office with the push of a button. For this prank, you'll need Skype, and some Skype Credit. (Computer-to-computer calls are free on Skype, but dialing a real phone costs money. Still far less than calling from a real phone, though.) Set up a conference call by filling a Group with every single number in the office (don't forget to include your own or you'll be in trouble), then click "Call Group." This is wrong; a little button to disrupt the entire building should surely be RED. This simple prank will start a massive conference call with every single phone you list, and even better the Caller ID will show up as "Unknown." Stay on the line, and listen as dozens of people try to work out who called whom. Just be careful: if you do cackle with mirth, cackle quietly. POLITICIANS REALLY LOVE TO EAT! -Of the $2.6 million spent on food and beverages for reps and their staffers, $604,000 went to bottled water, $397K went to catering and another $135,000 to restaurants. -$84,794 was spent on coffee and coffee-related products. -$10,673 spent with barbecue restaurants, which seemed quite popular among members of Congress — much more so than, say vegetarian restaurants. -Which member of Congress ate the most food? That would be Gregorio Sablan, who is the Democratic House delegate for the Northern Mariana Islands. Sablan spent $23,000, or $6,000 more than the second-place legislator, Texas Republican Michael Burgess. -Broken down by party, Democrats out-ate Republicans $299,000 to $203,000 thousand. HOW MUCH WILL A TRILLION DOLLARS BUY YOU _ Confronting the federal deficit starts with grasping just how colossal that number actually is. So, what would $1 trillion get you? The figure is almost incomprehensible: $1,000,000,000,000. One trillion dollars. That's a dozen zeros. The Congressional Budget Office reports that during the first nine months of fiscal 2010 -- which ends September 30 -- the federal government spent $1 trillion more than it took in. That's another $1 trillion added to a total national debt that stood at just over $13 trillion as of the Fourth of July. To help you wrap your head around that mind-boggling number, and to try to put deficit spending into perspective, consider what $1 trillion will buy, expressed in terms we can all understand. For example, how many cars could you buy with a trillion dollars? How many homes? How many candy bars? >>>Get the answers and read the full article here… SIGNS YOU ARE A CARD-CARRYING MEMBER OF THE DUNLOP SOCIETY
MAN TACKLES 24 HOUR FITNESS _ In just the last few months, writer Bayan Rabbani -- who works for the comedy website Zug.com -- has tested his own limits with his 24-hour outings to Walmart and Starbucks. Now, he's gone to the next most logical location: 24 Hour Fitness. Unlike Bayan's previous retail camping trips, 24 Hour Fitness got wind of his impending trip to one of their gyms. And even though news of the stunt got all the way up to corporate HQ, the company still decided to let him go through with it. They might have regretted that decision when, around 20 hours into his day-long workout, Bayan slipped into an animal-print snuggie to do some sweating in style. During his time at the gym, Bayan managed to slip in five different classes, from yoga to pilates to spinning. He also consumed a ridiculous amount of protein, ordered pizza for himself and the staff while he lounged in the hot tub, and lost a grand total of one pound.
THE WORST OF THE STADIUM FOOD VENDOR HEALTH VIOLATIONS Sun Life Stadium (Miami Dolphins, Florida Marlins) -- Inspection report excerpt: In June 2009, an employee complained anonymously that small insects and other debris were blended into frozen alcoholic beverages at a stand where equipment wasn't being cleaned. When inspectors checked, they issued a critical violation for a buildup of slime inside the frozen drinks machine. Ford Field (Detroit Lions) -- Inspection report excerpt: Inspectors cited one location 11 times in the past six years after seeing employees who didn't wash their hands. At another stand, they found an employee's half-eaten hamburger in a warming unit. Joe Louis Arena (Detroit Red Wings) -- Inspection report excerpt: Poisonous or toxic materials were stored atop items used to serve customers, posing a potential risk of contamination. Inspectors also found roaches below a soda dispenser at one location. Izod Center (New Jersey Nets) -- Inspection report excerpt: Inspectors found a seemingly spoiled and "odorous" can of cherry ice cream topping that had been left opened and uncovered in an unrefrigerated storage cabinet. Citi Field (New York Mets) -- Inspection report excerpt: Inspectors found 20 pounds of grilled chicken registered at 70 degrees in a refrigerator, about 30 degrees warmer than allowed. RBC Center (Carolina Hurricanes) -- Inspection report excerpt: Inspectors cited one vendor after watching employees handle raw, breaded chicken while loading fryers and then handling cooked food without changing gloves or washing hands. The employees placed cooked chicken back in the same container used to pre-portion raw chicken before cooking. Great American Ball Park (Cincinnati Reds) -- Inspection report excerpt: Inspectors saw an employee scraping food debris from a spatula using the trash bin and then trying to continue using the same spatula without cleaning it. Mellon Arena (Pittsburgh Penguins) -- Inspection report excerpt: In one of the arena's higher-end clubs, inspectors found a live cockroach on top of a soda dispenser holster behind the bar. PNC Park (Pittsburgh Pirates) -- Inspection report excerpt: At one location with seven critical violations, inspectors found raw chicken and beef stored above bread, and found restrooms without any hot water.
DUFFY THE PLUMBER ROONEY AND MOON TALK TO MEL GIBSON ARE YOU ADDICTED TO FACEBOOK
COMPLAINTS ABOUT WOMEN'S DRIVING 1. Lack of concentration 2. Braking too late 3. Flicking the accelerator 4. Not avoiding rumble strips 5. Getting too close to other cars 6. Braking too hard 7. Fiddling with the stereo 8. Failure to indicate 9. Going too fast 10. Sticking in the middle lane USELESS TRIVIA TRIVIA: When the first one of these opened in Moscow in 1990 the line was 30,000 deep. (McDonald's) TRIVIA: The average female college senior goes through about 5 of these a week. (Alcoholic beverages. The number consumed by male seniors is over 10.) |
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